As we each go through our own life experiences, the month of March has been a confusing energy with heightened emotions, yet it has also given many of us an opportunity to heal and transmute a personal and collective shadow within family relationships.
I do not share the following lightly and it is not about blame. A lot has happened over the past two months and the insights I received through an event unfolding in my own life since the death of my mother in January, revealed a karmic family pattern of power struggles that I needed to release and I sense this pattern is arising for many.
These patterns started in childhood conditioning, so if fear has been coming up for you this month causing conflict, chaos, confusion, suffering or trauma around family, this space here is to be real and to heal. So Love’s message from the Black Rose and the Dark Mother’s energy this month is this:
What family patterns are keeping you stuck?
What action do you need to take to claim the shadow and end it?
Unfinished business seems to be an ongoing theme since the beginning of the year, and there appears to be a big pattern that is coming up for many right now of unfinished business around the karmic cycles of passive aggressive behaviour within family.
Is family karma holding you back and keeping you trapped in cycles of fear, victimhood or emotional abuse? Have you experienced “gaslighting”?
Allow the energies of this month’s New Moon to reveal what needs healing….
We may be in for some surprises!
Life Challenges as Initiation
Before getting into this deeper inner soul work, I would like to share some information about the Black Rose teachings, healing Transmissions and messages that are shared throughout these blog posts from my own guiding source.
As the founder and creator of the Black Rose teachings and healing Transmissions to identify core wounds, dive deep into the shadow, and repair a mother/daughter wound, this is deep soul work which takes dedication, many years, many lifetimes and many experiences in physical and multidimensional realms to obtain.
It takes deep introspection of examining our own thoughts to get to the core and root cause of the repeating problems in our life. There is no quick fix… and this is not about “fixing” our emotional pain or suffering.
The embodiment of integrity and unconditional Love requires accepting every painful feeling and emotion and allowing it to rest in the Heart without wanting to change it or get rid of it. It is painful. It is uncomfortable. When we balance our masculine and feminine energy within and clear our karma, we bring in the highest evolved consciousness into our physical reality.
True sovereignty is not about following gurus, doing a weekend course, or a few months training and thinking it will get us there. There is a lot of pain and confusion on the journey to wholeness and this has to be felt with the Heart.
What took me through a Dark Night of the Soul became my initiation into the ancient wisdom and deeper mysteries of the Dark Feminine. If you are called by the Dark Mother, it is usually through a Dark Night of the Soul. This is the mystical aspect of initiation.
For many, the relationship we have with our mothers can be the most challenging because we are imprinted with her emotional energy. What impact does our mother’s emotional energy have on us during her pregnancy and before we are born? My mum had her own story and her own past, and I am grateful she shared that with me. What are the karmic contracts we have with other members of our family?
Whilst the work I have brought forth may inspire others, what I write through these blog posts is born from my own personal experiences on my healing journey to wholeness, and to give new perspectives, ancient wisdom and new knowledge. They also hold a Light Transmission to activate your own truth and ancient remembering if you so choose.
Don’t Play the Victim
All the places where we do not Love ourselves, respect ourselves, where we feel disempowered, abused, not seen or heard, feel abandoned, rejected or betrayed will keep coming up until we clear it. Life itself and what we are challenged with in life are the initiations.
Karmic relationships are a bit like the final exam before we can graduate into the highest expression of ourselves. They give us an opportunity to put into practice all that we have learnt in this lifetime. Unravelling a karmic relationships is understanding they are never about the other person. It is more to do with our own spiritual growth and increasing our own personal power and assertiveness so we can make more peaceful relationships.
By allowing our deepest core fears to come into the Light, we have an opportunity to reclaim our power that was stolen from us – or rather what we gave away through fear. All the emotions we suppressed, all the programs we operated under, are about to become visible. Now we get to choose what aspect we want to be in and align with our highest truth.
Gas lighting is when the person who is being abusive tries to change the facts of what happened about an event or in a conversation that makes the receiver of it doubt their own trust in themselves and their own memory. It can be a form of manipulation that is used to gain power and control of a situation.
Karma is all the “unfinished business” within our family of origin. There is a game that plays out between an empath and an “abuser”…it is all about control, playing mind games, and can even include mocking someone by being sarcastic, cruel or unkind. If we have been caught up in a passive aggressive pattern with someone, our passivity enables that relationship to continue.
I found myself at the beginning of the month in an abusive situation with someone who was leading through power and control, fear, manipulation, gas lighting, anger and resentment, passive, aggressive, abusive, and the most cruelest and unkind narcissistic behaviour, and this baggage had someone else’s name on it as it was being projected onto me.
Breaking the Karmic Cycle
I felt challenged, attacked and disempowered, (this was part of my victim cycle I learned in the family dynamics as a child), and yet I still had to feel that hurt in order to heal it. The important thing here is there is no blame on the other as they were just mirroring my own karmic lessons.
The events that unfolded since my mother’s death now all made so much sense and it enabled me to clear the old programming. I could also see where all the times in my life where I had confused being reasonable with someone, compassionate and too understanding with, not standing up for my own wants and needs, I had allowed myself to be treated like a doormat and that my needs didn’t matter.
The Lord of Karma is not interested in whether we are choosing to play the role of a victim – if we truly want to break the cycle vigilance and awareness is needed. Breaking the cycle of the victim pattern is about being assertive, standing up for ourselves when we need to, being honest, speaking our truth and allowing the dice to fall where they will with no attachment to the outcome. In passive aggressive behaviour, we also have to be aware where we ourselves are perhaps alternating between these roles to gain power over the other.
I remained in integrity and treated the other with love, respect and kindness, but most importantly the lesson was learned and the karma was completed when I recognised I no longer wanted to carry this toxic energy into the future. So I held the other accountable for their behaviour by standing up for myself saying it is not ok, and chose to disengage and walk away.
It’s time for us to take a walk back through time, understand our conditioning from family, deal with it, make a decision, and bring it to an end and clear it.
The truth is this experience was not about blaming the other. This experience was for me to take responsibility for its presence in my life and clear a program that was held deep, deep within me. In opening up this can of worms there was such a blessing and beautiful lesson unfolding within it for me to break the karmic cycle, heal it and let it go so I could reclaim my power.
My shadow that was formed in childhood chose to be the receiver of emotionally abusive and cruel behaviour, and I allowed others to treat me with unkindness and disrespect and say nothing – this pattern continued to play out throughout my life in relationships, friendships and the workplace.
We accept what we allow into our lives and it is time to change that pattern. When I recognised the childhood pattern that was playing out, I decided to end the karma by not engaging, staying in integrity, and loving myself enough to stand up, speak what I had to say, and walk away.
In doing so, I did not participate in the control drama, and the karmic cycle was completed when I was no longer in denial anymore and saw things as they really are. I wanted better for myself and had to let the fantasy go of what I thought this person to be. If that person wanted to be a part of my life they would need to be moving forward with me and not against me.
We are brought together in a karmic relationship so we can forgive them. It does not mean forgiving their actions, forgive is saying it is not ok what I allowed you to do to me, it means I now choose to no longer carry the emotional baggage of this situation. It also means forgiving ourselves.
So if you find yourself this month in a karmic relationship that needs clearing, be honest with yourself, forgive yourself, them, and the situation. Deal with it in whatever way or however that works for you. If we sweep it under the rug and do not deal with it, if we do not come to terms that it is over, we will be locked in a cycle of repeat and return.
Anyone who has read The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield will remember that within the fourth Manuscript he speaks of the four control dramas, the power struggles where we each fight for energy.
To alchemise fear into love within ourselves when others or we are leading through fear and manipulation, we have to consciously choose not to engage in these control dramas anymore. These are just the family patterns that once we fully understand them we can start to transform them.
Many of us don’t like to hear the truth about ourselves yet we can all embrace our karma in a loving way as it is our most honest truthful teacher in life. Karma does not judge or punish us or make us bad. It just shows us the truth about ourselves of how we think, feel and the way we conduct our lives and where we have become separated from Love and our wholeness.
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In Love, Grace and Service,