We are offered an invitation through the current Venus retrograde in Scorpio to look at relationships in more detail, including the relationship we have with ourselves to clear out and heal the Heart at a much deeper level.

There is a moment of reckoning coming. We are being prepared for something huge. If you have been going through a rough time, a traumatic event, rocked to the core, or are feeling battle weary from a relentless war you have had to fight alone in the dark or in secret, I see you Warrior of Light.

Do not doubt this journey. All pain is to give birth to the new world of the feminine. Since the beginning of the year many have been forced to face dysfunctional relationships and have gone through dramatic unexpected changes in soul contracts and the ending of family patterns and karmic cycles that have been sickening, abusive, controlling and toxic.

A geomagnetic storm is now brewing for a lifetime review. We are in a final battle of the Dark Night of the Soul that cannot be avoided, but we are about to receive a blessing on a grand scale. So the message from the Black Rose this month is this:

It’s in our pain we find our greatest power.

When we have been thrown to the wolves to die….

We return as a powerful Warrior of Light

Venus rules the Heart. In this new season of Scorpio, dynamite is about to be placed over our Hearts to relieve our heartache. Emotions are up and down, relationships of any kind are changing and being tested. As Scorpio starts to uncover the hidden and deeper parts of our soul, we are faced with a review of matters of Love and values to further purge and emotionally detoxify ourselves.

We are in the final stages of completing a karmic cycle and are about to receive a blessing with the healing Grace from the Heart of the Divine Feminine consciousness to put our souls on fire. We will be re-aligned with our desires and creativity that have alluded us, as self defeating patterns and past pain will no longer have a place in our Heart.

Purging has a purpose. Huge changes are taking place with the upcoming Full Moon energies. We are offered an invitation to purge the shadow side of Scorpio and move through the alchemical gateway of this Venus retrograde into the shadows of initiation, to dissolve and release insidious generational patterns of ancestral trauma.

Cycles are ending and the Venus retrograde is giving us an opportunity to claim and take back our power. Those who are going through this purging process and I include myself here, have been physically and emotionally exhausted.

This retrograde can trigger within us a lot of unprocessed emotions, including grief and SELF ABUSE, SELF DECEPTION and SELF SABOTAGE. We are being offered an invitation to clear some really deep shadow stuff and we are being asked to release some attachments and big lifetime patterns.

As the Divine Feminine awakens within, our physical body is being called to purge and release old trauma held in our cellular memory. This is essential for the consciousness of the divine feminine to move through our whole being.

The invitation of this Venus retrograde is to dissolve the memories of abuse of any kind past and present, held at a soul level and within our Hearts and bodies.

If we can look with an open Heart and take a long hard look at ourselves, our relationships and friendships past and present, we may be aware of remnants of memories coming up now where we tolerated things or did things that were not good for us, which may still hold an energetic charge that no longer serve us in our current times.

I have sensed and been experiencing wave upon waves of HEALING energies that are coming to bring massive breakthroughs and healing to the mind, body spirit for those who have been carrying massive burdens, or may have felt they have been in a battle for their own sanity by the burdens placed upon them by others.

The battle that appears to be going on right now is with our Heart and Soul versus the ego. This retrograde is revealing to us where in our lives and relationships we need to be transformed, and we are being called to go within and go deeper.

As Men and women who are called to awaken the feminine energies, we hold the emotional debris of past life abuse and trauma in our bodies. This Venus retrograde is a Code breaker for liberation and freedom from past memories of abusive patterns and past conditioning, including the dance of the dysfunctional patterns within families of the bully and scapegoat, the empath and narcissist.

Where there is too much power, control or dependency issues, negative imbalances occur. What ever the nature, they will cause conflict and a harmful imbalance. We can also see the pattern playing out on the world stage with leaders who have scapegoat tendencies.

To say yes to the archetypal forces and initiatory journey of this retrograde is to say yes to restore within our bodies the values of Love, beauty, harmony and balance.

A Storm is Brewing

Venus, Uranus, Jupiter…many astrologists are saying look at what was playing out in our lives in 2010. I have gone back further to 1983. And there I found the similarities of a pattern that has come up again this year because it was never fully resolved in the past.

Secrets are being revealed, and the truth is coming out about certain relationships as they awaken our pain body. Even the smartest and strongest of us who some believe are above “suffering” can so easily be dehumanized by another. We may believe we have healed and have no trauma to release – our body may tell us otherwise.

I too have been dealing with some tricky stuff and a lot of drama. I am sharing an example of an unhealthy pattern of behaviour that is coming up for clearing during this Venus retrograde, to finally purge what has caused so much negative and harmful imbalances in our lives and relationships which may have prevented us from moving to the next level of our evolution.

Everything has to Go!

The Universe appears to be blowing things up! I have been through a heartbreaking experience, yet within this hurtful history of betrayal was a great opportunity for growth.

Relationships of any kind can wound us and make us vulnerable. There are many forms of abusive behaviour that we may not be aware of because they are so subtle, or we are not even aware they are considered as abusive that can harm ourselves as well as others.

Whilst it may seem like there is a darkness permeating the planet both within ourselves and without, changes are happening through this Venus retrograde to release us from old patterns of behaving and past conditioning. These patterns not only prevail in intimate relationships or friendships, they are also found within the family, workplace, spiritual circles and communities.

Venus is associated with Love and Joy but this retrograde is dredging up all our painful spots from the murky, muddy waters. In her retrograde position we can look back over what happened in the past to gain understanding and insight and a new perspective on things, so that we may learn from the past and move forward in a new and completely different way.

Purging is to move us into a new direction, to our highest purpose, and to a new version of ourselves so that we can do our mission work on earth – shifting consciousness and raising the vibration on the planet.

Diving for Light

I have a “story” to tell. Not to attack or invalidate another. It is to validate myself, and give MYSELF a voice that not only unravelled the confusion that brought valuable insights, but to bring awareness to an old pattern of conditioning that had been running and the insidious nature of a particular form of abusive behaviour that is not often recognised that we may hold an energetic charge to and which can lead to PTSD, poor mental health and depression.

This “story” does not define who I AM – I have been purging and releasing the remnants of an old ancient harmful pattern of poison held within my body and cellular memory that I, like many, have tolerated and carried through our family lineages.

Many have taken on a great challenge and have been called into “darkness” to bear it so that they may grow.

After surrendering and healing from a cruel form of abusive behaviour that had been directed at me at a time when I myself was feeling vulnerable, in those darker energies I found the pattern and conditioning. I also realised I was outgrowing a level of consciousness with a particular wound I had been attached to. Karmic clearing was taking place of a traumatic pattern that had been lodged deeply within my body.

Help with Inner Work

I share from my Heart based on my own life experiences that you may see me as I continue to learn to SEE MYSELF and LOVE MYSELF through inner work and healing my shadow.

Inner work means rewriting our negative programs. As a child we were like a sponge. We soaked up a reality from the adults and siblings around us which provided us with a template of how to think and behave in a reality to survive which we carried forward into adulthood.

As a child, I was often chastised and blamed for something I did not do and would get into trouble for it. I would still get told off and chastised severely and smacked, (it was the done thing in those days and no blame to parents!) even when I was honest and told the truth. I received the wrath and anger of my parents and believing I had done something wrong would hold my head in shame.

Things were done to deliberately get me into trouble. The program and conditioning I received from those memories as little me, was it was normal to have and accept harsh words, anger and abusive behaviour from others dumped onto me, and not being able to answer back and stand up for myself swallowed it. The Core Wound of Injustice was birthed, with the belief I had done something wrong keeping it in place.

In 2010 with the diagnosis of rheumatoid arthritis, the wound came up to be dealt with. Reframing the past brought healing and forgiveness with the wound of injustice.

Fast forward to this year. I was treated unfairly by someone who did not appear to have my best interests at Heart. Things were done without my permission. Clarity and information had been kept from me through withholding, and what was rightfully mine was violated and stolen.

I was left in the dark, blocked, cast out and left in the cold by someone’s cruel, cold, calculating behaviour and discard. Blocking tactics were used to silence me. Speaking “truth” is not about tearing another down with our words. That is not Love – it is abuse.

I felt deeply wounded and stabbed in the back. This assault left a scar on my Heart, and a hole in my Soul and psyche, and took a terrible toll on my body. I felt confused and this experience caused me anxiety and drained me emotionally.  It took me away from my path….for a while. I felt terribly hurt, disappointed and betrayed.

I chose the Path of Love

After deep introspection, I found an unhealthy dysfunctional pattern of conditioning between an emotionally manipulative bully and a scapegoat. The tactics of an emotional manipulator and abusive bully work through projection and scapegoating.

Where i was looking for truth and clarity, openness and transparency, I soon realized I was on the receiving end of the behaviour of an emotional manipulator – they are masters of the guilt trip and excel at taking advantage of what they perceive as others weaknesses.

If you ever find yourself on the receiving end of an emotional manipulator – SHAME IS NOT YOURS AND DOES NOT FALL ON YOU. IT IS NOT YOUR BURDEN TO CARRY.

This passive aggressive form of control, considered emotional abuse, is used as a tactic to silence and punish and inflict pain as an attempt to induce feelings of powerlessness, guilt and shame within another. This is a form of narcissistic abuse that is very damaging to someone’s health which a narcissist can use as a way of letting you know they are not accountable and it is you that has done something wrong and not them!

Guilt and shame had already been healed in healing the wound of injustice. The pattern and programming of accepting my role as scapegoat had now come up to be looked at.

Using the silent treatment and discard on someone is a form of rejection that can create the same feelings as being physically thrown to the wolves – left out in the cold, ignored and made to feel not important.

Emotional bullies lack empathy. To relieve themselves of painful emotions such as hurt, fear, guilt, shame and rage, they have to find a scapegoat to project them onto. The scapegoat then becomes the emotional toilet for the scapegoater, who dumps and flushes their toxic, emotional poison and blame onto another, without it ever having to touch them.

Scapegoating, used since ancient times, is an insidious family pattern of blame and shame on one family member who carries the responsibility for others faults – it is abuse.

To emotionally manipulate someone this way is abuse. To financially exploit someone is abuse. To bully someone is abuse. The truth can only be hidden for so long, and understanding is always the road to forgiveness.

The Angel of Balance

Our past trials always make us wiser and stronger, so we can pass on our wisdom and knowledge of what we have learned to another.

Emotional manipulators and bullies outwardly can be cruel and vindictive who lack empathy and integrity. Their outward arrogance hides their shallow confidence. Inwardly, they can feel insecure and inadequate, and want to sow their seeds of fear on another to gain an illusionary sense of control for themselves.

With their cruel words, guilt tripping and put downs, emotional manipulators will try to destroy someone who can see through them and hold them accountable. Emotional manipulators become afraid when they are exposed or found out for who they really are. They will push their weight around to undermine and belittle you. A narcissistic bully wants to win at all costs and may start a smear campaign to discredit the scapegoat. Underneath it all can be jealousy, vengeance, envy, entitlement and greed. They are acting out of their own hurt and in pain….

If you are on or have been on the receiving end of this form of abusive behaviour – I SEE YOU.

DO NOT under any circumstances accept this poisonous form of love and DO NOT internalize and accept as truth their put downs and opinion of who you are. Whether they are conscious of what they are doing or not, DO NOT tolerate or accept their tactics for power and punishment as a sign of fault or failure on your part.

Having a grievance with someone is one thing, receiving malevolent petulance from an immature, mean, five year adult who lacks emotional intelligence and poor communication skills is not. The underlying goal of all forms of abuse is this:

To gain and maintain power and control

This experience is not about blaming another. What it made me do was really acknowledge the impact and personal cost to me of accepting mistreatment, neglect and bad behaviour from others, and where in my life I had minimised the harm.

Whether in the family, the workplace, groups or communities, scapegoating is not a misunderstanding between people, it is abusive behaviour. Whether a deliberate act to cause harm and isolate another or not, what I had not acknowledged was this:

Those who scapegoat do so to avoid sitting with their own pain

I had to look at all my past relationships and accept the true impact on my life and the feelings I had not acknowledged but suppressed by allowing myself consciously and unconsciously to be a scapegoat. I have had to process some difficult emotions to see and accept, how I have been too understanding of another’s behaviour and put others feelings before my own so as not to hurt them. I am not a victim. I am learning to Love and forgive the unforgiveable and breathe in new life, trusting in the Divine energy that is moving through me.

This experience also brought out my own shadow of suppressed traumatic experiences, brought out into the open to heal a pattern of conditioning, of conditions and boundaries where in subtle ways I had not only tolerated abusive behaviour, I had accepted many things that did not deserve my tolerance.

This retrograde is giving us all just that. An opportunity to look at our relationships that are or were not healthy or nurturing and to see where in the past we have tolerated, adapted to, or accepted things that were not good for us from someone as an energy exchange to be accepted, to belong, or to feel safe.

The New Foundation

I was able to pull away and look after myself so I could get past and present trauma out of my body. I could thank the “teacher” who created a situation to move me to the next stage of my journey, and let that person go and release them to their own journey in Love and Light.

There is now a new beginning for our spirits. The restart button has been set so we can begin again and hold ourselves in a higher regard through Love and peace. When we let go of the need to be right, it is an act of self love.

We are moving into new perspectives, new feelings, and into a time of no boundaries – Love has no boundaries. When we are truly connected to ourselves, we do not need boundaries.

It is said we create our own reality by the way we feel and think about ourselves. When we or another puts up a boundary we are setting a condition by saying, “You have to be this way in order for me to Love you”. When we give out conditions, we are giving our power away.

What I learnt was this:

When I am truly connected to myself no-one outside of me can betray me, abandon me, lie to me, deceive me, take advantage of me, or steal from me. When I am truly connected to myself I know not to take these things to Heart because what someone is doing outside of me has nothing to do with me. A person outside of me is on their journey and just working and playing out their own conditioning.

Something on some level I had put out attracted my situation to me because there was a higher perspective that I had been missing. I know I am a loving, giving person, in my own self worth and self value. I do not need to accept anything outside of myself that is not truly who I am.

We cannot bury ourselves in density. Completions are happening. When we know our inner strength, we can receive our blessings and claim what is rightfully ours and no-one can steal anything from us. We are moving into Oneness where nothing can be lost. No more false contracts. No more false boundaries. No more false conditions.

Major transformation and major endings are releasing the negative thoughts about ourselves. We have been conditioned into believing that someone betrayed us, cheated us, deceived us, abandoned us, lied to us, was dishonest to us and stole from us, so we felt devastated and believed “how could they do that to us?”

Well, Karma’s a B*tch in high heels.

They didn’t betray, cheat, deceive, abandon, lie, take advantage or steal from us. They did that to themselves. We do not have to wait for anything or anyone. When we are connected to ourselves and our Creator we are already fulfilled.

The beauty of these experiences is that we can alchemise this destructive energy within us into a holy fire that will fuel our passion and creativity moving forward.

The importance of doing our own shadow work is getting in touch with our shadow side to shed light on our darker aspects to release our subconscious programming that we are not aware of.

All our relationships are becoming more authentic and as a consequence, a lot of feelings are getting hurt. Building relationships to move forward is a co-creative process. Commitment and safety will no longer be the norm. Even our perspective around sex and intimacy will be changing. The Divine Feminine knows everything comes from balance. If she needs to be a warrior she can do that.

The Higher Purpose

The purpose of the Venus retrograde and Full Moon is to heal our emotions of grief and sadness and to see our patterns, and show us that what we have created in the past and living by is conditioning and boundaries, attachment and trauma. Now it’s about resonance, freedom, balance and harmony.

And if your plans are falling apart, let it roll….let it roll….put down the doing….know that you are going to get what you want. Struggle? Let it go………..

Many of us have to heal the battle in our minds and emotions by seeing our patterns and what we have been holding onto. Grief, sadness, guilt, pain, anger feeling trapped in our own minds, conflict and chaos is coming to a head…we have to heal our wounds that created the distance and have attracted the same relationships and situations over, over, and over again.

Through my own belief of an excruciating experience, something strange was taking place. My intuition had become further heightened. My dream time and visions were showing me this excruciating painful experience had a higher purpose.

Back in April I had a vision that I was on a battlefield in the dark of night. Yet it was no ordinary battle. I sensed I was being prepared for something. I choose to share this personal experience because of the answers that were revealed to me. I was being held in the arms of a Valkyrie.

If this sounds completely crazy to you, I am completely ok with that. A Valkyrie, as described in Norse Mythology, is a female figure who walks the battlefields and chooses half of those who die in battle to go to Valhalla “the Hall of the slain” and the other half to go to the Goddess Freyja. Valkiries are Warriors of Light.

It has taken me a long time to rise above the chaos and see from a higher vantage point what was going on. For those who have been through a similar devastating experience, it has not been in vain. In the darkness, you like me have been in training.

In the darkness, many of us have been on a pilgrimage for ancient wisdom and ancient healing. What we have experienced has strengthened us. Whatever poisonous darts had been thrown, was for the purpose of healing.

You have worn the crown of thorns and carried the cross for a long time. It took a lot of strength, courage and determination to get out of a difficult situation and you may have sacrificed a lot and suffered a loss of some kind. Yet it allowed you to explore your dreams and aspirations. You had to go through this experience to enjoy more of what you have now and what will be coming.

Now you are about to be rewarded Warrior of Light.

Go Light the Path

As we continue to release the old to allow room for the new, we are rising up. If like me you have been receiving downloads with new ideas, you have now stepped forth from the darkness into the Light as the modern day daughters of the Feminine with all the strength and power of Mother/Father God, to bring forth something that will grow, to radiate the expansive Love of our Creator, to assist humanity to move forward.

The path ahead is clear.

The wisdom and healing we gained from painful experiences has created major shifts, changes, and healing within our own Heart so that we can extend and share what we learned for the healing of others.

During my own Hermit mode, I was given more downloads on the Black Rose and now have a new page in the menu bar on the Black Roses of Iona©. More information will be shared soon on the healing work I will be offering.

I offer these writings as a gift of healing to share with others from a place of experience and wisdom after overcoming my own life challenges.

So if this article has resonated with you or you know of someone who may benefit from it, please consider sharing using the link in the address bar above.

If you would like to offer some feedback or share something on what this article has brought up for you, please use the comments box below.

In Love, Grace and Service,