Most people these days are going through a transition of some kind. Once upon a time life used to be logical and make sense and we knew exactly what to do in any given situation. But life these days for some does not make sense anymore and everything seems up in the air.
Change can be a scary thing as we prefer to hold onto what we know. The good news is that the emotional roller coaster ride that some have been on the past few months had a higher purpose in that it was purging us to release from all duality aspects of the mind. The person that you really are can no longer remain hidden inside of you, so the Full Moon energies today are an invitation to free up our hearts.
The message behind this Full Moon is to show us about the workings of the mind and the importance of understanding how the mind works to keep us stuck and in limitation. We all have a wonderful opportunity for transformation now, the energies of this Full Moon is giving us all the opportunity to embrace our authenticity and make some amazing changes to our lives. But if that is not reflected from within in a change of mind and heart, then the point and purpose has been missed about what Ascension is really about. We all have an invitation now to free up our hearts big time…if we ignore this opportunity then we will remain in the never ending repeat and return cycles of the ego.
With the recent Lunar and Solar Eclipses and the Grand Cardinal Cross, we have been given plenty of opportunities to get our house in order by clearing out our mental, emotional and spiritual attics. Pluto encouraged us to go deep into our psyche and look at our shadow aspects, whilst Jupiter was showing us where we needed to expand beyond our fears and limitations…letting go of the lesser to create the greater. All of it was to bring to awareness what is out of alignment and not balanced in our lives and to show us where we are holding back through fear and resistance.
If you have been able to ride the energy waves of chaos through April and May, then hopefully you are in a place of trust…knowing that although you may not be able to see the wood from the trees at the moment, your heart is guiding you every step of the way. If on the other hand the chaos has left you tearful, anxious, in a state of confusion, frustration, resentment or conflict…perhaps it is time to go within and see what it is trying to tell you about yourself! For until you do nothing will change…it is you that holds the keys to your own healing and salvation.
You know something is scary and overwhelming…and sometimes just thinking about something can put you into emotional paralysis. Within that emotional paralysis come the debilitating fear, the avoidance, the procrastination, the distraction and the suppression. Sound familiar? If you feel like you are going round in circles, listening to the debilitating voice of the inner critic and self sabotage, first of all, accept fear is a part of being human…and give yourself permission to step out of the guilt and self criticism cycle.
I totally and compassionately understand and empathise with people’s resistance and defensiveness when they are faced with discomfort and paralysed by fear for I have been there…I had the giant of all fears and resistances to face…my body got sick and I lost my job.
Having been on both sides of resistance, I also accept and understand that in my role as facilitator, mentor or even spiritual buddy to others that I can become the target of other people’s projections, anger, resentment and resistance too. With all the astrological events taking place during April and May, it has brought up a lot of resistance, fear and grief and it will take time for the fog to clear and the dust to settle. Overcoming fear and resistance to change is a critical part of personal and soul growth…some people preferring routine and predictability rather than freedom and adventure.
Resistance Comes in many Forms
If you catch yourself saying “yes but” or “I can’t” to anything…that is resistance. So too is anger, complaining, whining, finding fault in people or situations. Beating yourself up for the way things are…or not, is resistance. Do you quit when the going gets tough? It comes disguised as debilitating fear, emotional paralysis, self-sabotage, worry, doubts and negative thinking…all disguised by the ego to lead to discouragement and defeat.
We are in times of great change, and when something within us is awakening, we need to be aware of the ways we self sabotage. Awakening means to end our pain and suffering by overcoming our emotions and limitations. The new consciousness will activate all the unconscious ways that we hang onto to remain asleep….not realizing that we cause ourselves emotional pain. Self sabotage is our biggest vicious circle the ego uses to resist our awakening. Take accidents and illness for instance. Are you open to the possibility that these events have something to do with the subconscious mind? More on this another time!
At the root of resistance to change is a label we put onto people who appear to be unwilling to accept change. The truth is, it is not change itself that people resist, they resist because of a belief (conscious or not) that they will lose something of value to them or because they are frightened they will not be able to adapt to the new ways of being. The inner critic is relentless. Underneath, they are frightened they will fail, and underneath that fear of failure is because they believe they are inadequate, are not good enough or have done something wrong. (Have we been here before?) The truth is, the root cause of all fear and resistance is NOT LOVING THE SELF.
So the question is are you addressing your underlying fears and uncertainties about change…or are you just seeking refuge in fear, denial, avoidance, a self inflated ego, or self indulgence and self pity and hoping it will just all go away? Some people are not ready to change and there is no judgement in that. The storm comes before the calm…the storm comes in the form of chaos.
Opportunity for Transformation
Before the new and transformed can emerge, there is usually chaos of some kind. The Alchemist’s of old were very familiar with this process of chaos whilst they were trying to turn lead into gold. They were also familiar with the three phases of alchemy. Alchemical events happen to us every day of our lives without us sometimes even recognising it. An example of this is when we prepare a meal. We start off with the basic raw ingredients, then we cook it and pull everything together, to the point of the final result, a beautiful meal cooked to perfection and presented ready to eat. (If we are lucky!)
But what happens when it all goes “wrong”? There is a power cut during the cooking of the meal, we omit a vital ingredient and have to start all over again, or we get side tracked into something else and the meal is ruined. These may seem like catastrophic events at the time but we take them in our stride. Similarly, when you are at the point of a breakthrough in your life, you will experience confusion and chaos. I am sorry to say that for you to have a breakthrough experience, chaos and confusion is usually a pre-requisite. What this means is, when you feel confused, there is usually something happening within you.
When you can keep your focus where it belongs…on you, you will see that your reactions are just that…your reactions. When you can see that your resentments are just that…your resentments…your awareness to that recognition opens the heart to see that there is the possibility of relief from the chaos and turmoil that the head has created. These events and situations are showing up because the time has now come for you to learn a soul lesson…overcoming resistance.
It becomes very simple when you do not make others responsible for your anger and resentments. The trouble is the ego does not want to take responsibility for what it has created. So it will hold others accountable by blaming them for the pain and confusion you feel inside. The wounded child within can then act out by being a petulant child…it will try to punish others by withdrawing and withholding love from them. Can you recognise this behaviour in you, either now or in the past? Your resentments will hurt no-one but YOU. And it is you that will have to deal with that.
The Truth about Fear
Many of us have heard the clichés about fear, “On the other side of fear is freedom”, “Feel the fear and do it anyway”, “Fear is an illusion”. Yeah, right. When you are paralysed by fear and resistance, they can be the most idiotic things for someone to hear. So here’s the Truth.
Fear, resistance and panic are your Messengers…they are the messengers of truth and the best friends you will ever have…as is any emotion. If you are open and willing to explore them and ask for their wisdom to be revealed to you then magic and miracles happen…and hey presto…it will disappear.
Fear is a part of being human and it is going to show up in many areas of your life. Fear shows up in illness, in tragic circumstances, in relationships, in self sabotage and resistance. It shows up in abuse, in divorce, in violence. It shows up on the news, on TV, in war and terrorism. It shows up in phobias and addictions. Fear can be crippling…I have known fear very well in all its disguises. I have known the fear in heart palpitations and the kind that had my body sobbing and wracked with pain that brought me to my knees on the floor. I have been to the darkest places in dark nights of the soul but you know the best thing about fear? It is in your mind and emotional pain body that you attach to…it is not the essence of you or who you are.
In the past, fear was our protector. It helped keep us safe and from being killed by a sabre toothed tiger (threat). To try to reduce the fear without addressing the root cause (threat), the fear will only get louder. Fear is a survival emotion and it is only doing its job, so if we are not listening to what it has to say, it will continue to get louder and louder until we hear it and react appropriately…that is, dealing with the threat instead of erasing the fear. Often, instead of listening to what fear is trying to tell us, we make up stories in the mind and develop all sorts of avoidance techniques in an attempt to manage the fear.
So are you reacting or responding? Fear and Love are just different vibrations of energy, they only become positive or negative when we label them as so and attach to them. Most people react to fear by giving in to something or someone, or giving up. Yet within the fear and resistance is buried information that will help us on our journey. It is our buried treasure…it is our Gold.
To summarize…your fear is a part of your pain body…you created it…and you created it for a reason. The way to embrace your fear and resistance is to embrace it and make it your friend. To embrace your fear you need to interact with it. To interact with it you need to listen to it and talk to it…because fear and resistance is talking to you and trying to get your attention. Are you listening to it?
The one sure thing about resistance is that wants to keep things exactly as they are right here, right now. Its purpose (driven by the ego) is to do whatever it takes to block our inspiration and creativity and prevents us from rocking a boat. The ego does not want change of any kind because it is frightened of change. It does not want to rock a boat, because to rock a boat would mean to upset the apple cart…it means ruffling the comfort blanket. It means disturbing what would otherwise be a safe and certain life. The trouble is though every time we let resistance win we feel comfortable and secure…for a while. Soon, the confusion, the anger, the fear, the resentment, the conflict and dissatisfaction, will continue its insidious cycle of repeat and return all over again…until we face it, listen to it, and understand it’s message.
The Bigger Picture
Whether we like it or not, there is only one constant in life…and that’s change. The more we try to resist change and want to keep things the same, the more chaos and confusion we will create for ourselves. Does a leaf on a tree in autumn cling on for dear life when the wind blows? Of course it doesn’t. So if you find yourself not doing something because it “does not feel like the right time”, or you “do not like” something, then take a deeper look at where you may be self sabotaging by making excuses, or creating a story in your head because you are avoiding the Truth. There is only the now moment, nothing stays the same, and the ego will always find an excuse for putting something off to do in the future. As far as the ego is concerned though, the future never comes…there will always be another excuse, another explanation, another yes but…another I can’t…
Vulnerability came up big time in the last blog “The Call to Change”. To express our vulnerability to ourselves and to others is to show that we are open and willing to be honest, authentic and genuine. To be vulnerable means we are willing to look at our resistance. It means taking off our emotional armour and asking for help and assistance. Yes, there are those who do not want to show their vulnerability at any cost, fearing and believing they will be either be rejected and ridiculed by others, or believing it is a sign of weakness. When we are in resistance or fear of sharing ourselves, it can hold us back and keep us in separation and isolation. It keeps us from unity and union with others. It is also a sign that we are not ready to be awake, aware or fully conscious yet.
Have you had a realisation yet of what those things are for you? The things that are holding you back from opening up to your inspiration and creativity and stopping you from moving forward?
The Painful Dance of Duality
The thing about being honest, genuine and authentic though means that when you have nothing to hide, there is an overwhelming sense of freedom that comes with it. You start to see life as it really is…not as you would like it to be. You no longer hide behind your masks and dance with fear, guilt, anger, avoidance, resentment and shame, because when you are authentic, there is nothing to hide and no-where to hide. The truth is, if we believe and convince ourselves we are victims, are willing to throw out the baby with the bathwater when things get tough, then we are giving up the potential for freedom…and it’s all because we do not want to take responsibility for ourselves and what we have created. Well what a loss!
There is a painful dance that goes with responsibility…responsibility that sits at two ends of the spectrum called polarity. On one hand we can end up being responsible for everyone and everything, carrying the burden of the world on our shoulders, or, we want to chuck it all in, head for the hills and live in a cave either as a recluse or with the people that agree with us and don’t want to rock a boat either. Which pole are you at? Each one of them teeters on the edge of self indulgence, or self-centredness and control when responsibility is not in balance.
To come into balance is to recognise that we are responsible for what we do, we must (must meaning highly recommended) take ownership of our thoughts, words, actions and behaviour…including our fear and resistance. At the same time, when we can realize that we are not in control of everything we can start to relax and not be so hard on ourselves.
What is it you want and need in your life? We can be good at reciting what “we don’t want”, but the time is now to focus attention and energy on what you do want and accepting that resistance is a normal part of life. The energies over the past few months have been to purge you of the things and people in your life that no longer reflect your generosity or do not serve your highest good. This includes everything that is not in alignment with the vision you hold for yourself and what you want to create.
Start to become aware of when you are in a negative and complaining cycle. Notice when you feel irritated, annoyed or frustrated. There is nothing like being diagnosed with a life threatening illness or disease to make us look deeper at the meaning of life and learn to overcome resistance to what is…I know.
When you can accept and embrace ALL the parts of you, the imperfections and all the things that make you YOU, when you take full responsibility for what you say and do, it is then you will feel the return of your personal power and freedom.
Steven Pressfield (Author – The War of Art) said: “Most of us have two lives. The life we live and the unlived life within us. Between the two, stands Resistance.”
I could have wrote this blog in just nine words. Resistance to change is just a thought – change it.
If you have been holding back from embracing change in your life, are you open and willing to allowing life to show up as it must? The more you can embrace the flow of life the less you will have to fear. And hold tight to the knowing and trust that life is just doing what it is meant to do…leading you to the amazing and unique person that you are.
If you have found this article to be an inspiration or thought provoking, please feel free to share your experiences with resistance and how you overcame it.
Wishing you a miraculous and peaceful day.