Illness and Disability

“If you desire healing, let yourself fall ill, let yourself fall ill”


Having been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis in July 2010, I always knew and trusted that there was a higher purpose as to why my soul wanted to experience such a debilitating and degenerative illness of limitation. Illness became the Path to Awakening.

What I offer here is my perspective and experience on the spiritual purpose of illness and limitation, and the gifts and treasures that are hidden within them when we surrender. Illness became a journey to wholeness to release a limiting belief system, open and heal a wounded Heart, and remember the truth of who I AM and always have been – infinite LOVE.

Those of us that live with a chronic condition or degenerative disease know only too well our daily struggles and how challenging it is from a human perspective, and at times it can be a very lonely and isolating experience. Yet existing within the struggle that illness and disability brings is Grace – the mystical gift from the Divine that empowers us and assists us to grow. It is when we are open to this mystical gift given through the illness itself it becomes sacred.

At the human level, it is not easy to understand why so many souls at this moment in time have chosen to experience such painful and debilitating conditions. Whilst I continued to surrender and let go to what was happening, all along I had an inner knowing to trust and surrender to the Divine, being in gratitude that a greater good was being served.

Illness and dis-ease is the source of much of our spiritual growth and evolution and for many souls through the experience of limitation, greater spiritual advancement and transformation takes place. Dealing with loss and limitation are two of our biggest challenges in life and learning to deal with them takes us deeper into the meaning and mystery of life and purpose.

At a soul level limitation is taken on so that certain Divine qualities can manifest through the experience itself. Through limitation and restriction a soul learns to endure, to wait and to trust, seeking out the underlying reason for “being” and why we are here, which has to do with the deeper self or soul within.

This inner search is a major aspect of spiritual growth, it is the Quest, the search for the Holy Grail, and an important reason why some souls may choose a period of embodiment in which severe limitation may play a large part in their own journey to wholeness and authenticity, awakening to the truth of who they are.

Illness and dis-ease of any kind become our greatest Teachers, so embrace your disability and limitation to learn about YOU. Bless this Teacher, seek the Truth and its highest purpose, and find your peace within.

The gift of rheumatoid for me was to find acceptance in diversity, love and compassion for self, and in my daily struggles of living with a degenerative disease to find the courage and strength to claim health, wholeness and a level of well-being and know the truth of who I AM in spite of it.

If you have been diagnosed with an illness or disease and require help and support to identify and transform your Heart’s wounding and look at it from a spiritual perspective, please get in touch.

Bearing witness to my own personal journey though a Dark Night of the Soul, you can read about my own “crucifixion” I endured by copying and pasting the following into your browser.

Edit: Another gift was revealed and brought forth from a cancer diagnosis in December 2018:

The Black Rose Oracle Deck

I’ll share a little background with you about my Rose garden and the Black Rose Oracle deck and how they came into being, as it came at a great price.

In 2010 I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis so by 2013 I could no longer maintain my beautiful cottage garden. I live in a small house with a small garden on a corner plot but it was packed full with so many plants that grow in the UK.

I had to have my garden ripped up and replaced with gravel and artificial turf – it broke my Heart. The thing about illness, any illness is you learn to adapt and find a different way. So I decided to cram my garden with Roses – grown in large pots so I could maintain them.

In 2018 my mum died – I was perfectly at peace with that but I went through a horrendous experience with a family member and felt deeply betrayed.

Although for many years my inner work with myself and my clients had been working with core wounds, wounds of the Heart and emotional well-being, the whole experience left me traumatized at such a deep level that in December 2019 I was diagnosed with a cancer.

Yet that wound was the greatest gift when I embraced it with humility and courage and transformed suppressed anger and unexpressed grief – for the gift was the Pearl of Great Price that became the Black Rose Oracle deck.

In Love, Wisdom and Grace,



PLEASE BE AWARE: The information and support provided through Light Messenger is not offered as medical advice and should not be considered medical advice. Nothing contained on this page or throughout this website  is intended to be used for medical diagnosis or treatment, and is not intended to replace a one-on-one relationship with a qualified health care professional. Always seek the advice of a physician or other qualified health care professional regarding any mental or physical health condition or treatment.