With such disruptive energies of late stirring up much emotional struggle for some, how do we find our balance amidst the chaos?
With Jupiter’s transit through Scorpio until November 2018 (Scorpio the sign of death, transformation and the depths of the unknown), there are some big markers coming up energetically to purge, adjust, align, and change us to reveal more about who we are.
From the phone calls, Skype calls and emails I have been receiving this month, emotional pain, reactive or extreme behaviour and confusion, feeling lost, appear to be rife as the Shadow is raging across the planet on a personal and collective level.
There is a hidden theme to this month’s posting to share a deeper message as to what is attempting to come through from these struggles and emotional outbursts. We are being called to dive deep into the Well.
We are all going through and are part of the death and dying process, and finding support of some kind if we are struggling is crucial. With so much playing out within and on the world stage, Love’s message from the Black Rose this month is this:
What could we become if we integrated our Shadow?
In sharing about shadow work here, my intention is to share it in a healthy positive way to offer an overview of what our shadow self is. I will show you your shadow, the havoc it can create in our lives when not recognised, and the message it is trying to teach us.
Integrating our shadow is about transforming our emotional suffering into liberation and freedom. It is deep soul work that enables us to bring our true selves out from the unconscious shadow of “darkness” and the unknown, into the Light.
Our life’s journey of seeking the Light and longing to know the Divine will eventually lead us to our shadow and inner darkness. What we perceive as “darkness” are just the aspects of ourselves we have denied and not learned to Love. What is coming up for us now is our “stuff” we have not dealt with.
Our greatest Teacher IS our Shadow
A Cautionary Note: Please be aware that what is shared here is an alchemical process I have done with myself by taking the ultimate healing journey into the underworld to heal and transform the emotional pain, dysfunctional patterns and behaviours to integrate my Shadow.
It is not a substitute for mental health counselling. For deep trauma or mental health issues, always seek the advice of a qualified health care professional as it is not advisable to attempt shadow work on your own.
There is a higher purpose playing out through this particular article to reveal aspects of Shadow. You may find repartition…often…there is a purpose for this too.
This article is long, I make no apologies for that. If you are looking for a quick fix to satisfy the ego, wanting to gain information at an intellectual level to temporarily feel better, or dismiss it all believing that we are beyond all this stuff now, this labour of Love and of great value that follows is not for you.
A safe space and sacred vessel has been created here to dive deep, providing an opportunity to be seen and heard, to fully feel anything that arises, and where we no longer need to suppress, resist or deny anything.
Feel into this content with awareness, read a little at a time, and then reflect on it and become aware of what it invokes in you.
Jupiter Transit through Scorpio
Whilst this transit is calling us to go after our Heart’s desires, it is also showing us to understand that to heal we must cut out all the fluffy stuff and approach our healing as an opportunity for deeper awakening and growth.
From now until November 2018, our journey of life will be descending down into the deeper mysteries, and that will include our childhood and unconscious ancient past lives to illuminate and reveal the unknown within us.
Scorpio as a water sign is connected with feelings and emotions, and this transit over the next year is about understanding, embracing and expanding our emotions so we can develop intimacy with ourselves and others. It certainly favours looking at the deeper and darker places within ourselves.
The Gift from Integrating my own Shadow
I can only share from my own experience and offer that to serve humanity. We must all do the healing work necessary that lets the unacknowledged, rejected parts of ourselves be seen and heard, so we no longer need to hold the toxic energy of our past in our body.
Going through my own process of shadow work and grieving has enabled me to tap into the collective suffering even more. It is a humbling heart opening process, yet it has enabled me to speak out more and be of service in the best way I can without neglecting myself, and continuing to work on myself.
I have learnt to accept challenges as they show up, knowing they have something to teach me. We know we have all signed up for these times, and it is time to put an end to the spiritual by-passing now and do the work that is required of us.
We go into shadow work to face our fears to discover our treasure. Self awareness and shadow work is a requirement for authenticity and wholeness. True growth and transformation happens when we shine the Light on the unknown places within us.
We all have an innate ability to fool ourselves. It requires vulnerability to look within, to see ourselves fully. That means honouring our light, our beauty and gifts – including our perceived weaknesses. Those “weaknesses” are the parts of ourselves we don’t like, ignore or deny – this is our shadow.
My own “initiation” into shadow work through illness, was an opportunity to awaken to what was true in my life and free myself from emotional pain and limiting beliefs to integrate my shadow and claim the gifts and treasures I had denied.
By doing the real work of identifying and integrating shadow, understanding the purpose of attracting illness and what needed revealing, releasing and claiming, and learning from that transformational journey of loss and unresolved grief that illness brought with it, I was brought to another level of consciousness and called back into the world in a completely new and different way.
Then, in 2014 the Black Rose called me. Little did I realise at the time what it all meant.
Humbled and in deep gratitude, I claimed it…the unique soul gift, the Black Rose, birthed and brought forth through me, has all been in preparation for this Jupiter Scorpio transit to provide safe passage and assist others who are ready to explore and integrate their unconscious shadow too.
The Black Rose teachings and Light Transmissions offer an invitation to those who want to heal their past, integrate shadow, and change their relationship to emotions. Our group gatherings for shadow work were created to share and go deeper, because we need others to show us our shadow. And more will be shared and added onto the Black Rose Alchemy page above shortly about the Black Rose Essence.
I share this not with an inflated ego to say look at me and what I can offer you…..I choose to stand and share this truth and hold out a hand to come together in community because of what I had to go through to integrate my shadow to claim my hidden treasure.
I share it as an example of what we can still become in spite of challenges when we free ourselves from the emotional pain and suffering of the past.
When we integrate our shadow we move into that powerful place of acceptance, and we find ourselves giving birth to the wisdom that our pain has been trying to teach us all along. It enables us to be reborn into the truth of what we have always been – our empowered authentic self.
In facing my shadow I unlocked the judgement, resentment and criticism that my body was crippled with, and in doing so, it freed me to Love more deeply and consciously.
When we face and give voice to our backlogged emotional wounds, challenge ourselves to see the stories of our ego for what they are, and reclaim the projections we put on others, we come to a place of honesty, authenticity and self acceptance.
Shadow work is a life long commitment. And it is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves now to evolve in Heart consciousness – and for our overall well-being.
Pain of any kind is ALWAYS our Gateway to Truth
So…where are we being triggered and reacting? That is our shadow.
What aspect of life is triggering our stress responses?
How do we keep ourselves trapped in our story and use excuses to keep ourselves stuck for fear of moving forward?
Where are we using anger and rage to manipulate others to get what we want?
Many of us avoid our shadow selves because we are not even aware of it, even though we all have one. In that avoidance, what we reject about ourselves we project outwards onto others.
It doesn’t matter where we start with shadow work. Carl Jung once said:
“There is no coming into consciousness without pain”
For example, we may feel anger and rage so instead of taking responsibility to get to the root of what our anger is about, we project it onto another as judgement or blame. We are not at peace. We become out of balance and disconnected. When we only focus on the “Love and Light”, that unresolved anger is the repressed shadow self which in stressful situations can become a destructive force.
I had unknowingly suppressed my emotions all my life as I like many was never taught how to process them. In doing so I had unconsciously hid my wounds and patterns from childhood and a deep feeling of sadness, resentment and loss permeated my adult life and I did not know why.
Shadow work revealed the feelings of rejection, abandonment, injustice and lack of support I felt from my mother and father in my teenage years and through adult life. That sadness was hiding the hurt and loss I felt from the unacknowledged, unexpressed feelings and unresolved grief of perceived injustice. This heartbreak was shared in “The Importance of Healing Our Core Wounds” that brought me to a place of acceptance and forgiveness.
Anything to do with “darkness”, “Shadow” or negative feelings has been very misunderstood, judged and labelled as “heavy” by the majority. There appears to be misunderstandings amongst the “Light Worker” community too.
Carl Jung once said:
“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.”
Whilst this might be a bit of a controversial subject, we cannot be an authentic “Light Worker” unless we are working on our shadow stuff too – the two go hand in hand. To accept and focus on our Light only whilst dismissing or avoiding our “dark hidden stuff” is to reject and deny a part of ourselves. Shadow work does not mean we are not working from the Heart or in the higher realms of Light.
This is the biggest task for everyone now if we truly want to see change and that includes those of us in the healing professions – the Teachers, the Healers and the Therapists who must also find the courage to face their own Shadow side and be aware when it is playing out and do the deeper healing work that is now required if we have not done so already….
Whether we are in a place to accept this as truth or not, journeying within into our inner realms is the only place to go if we want to see peace in the world and be the Light we have come here to be.
By going into the darkness and surrendering to an alchemical process, we open to a greater force beyond our control and transformation takes place – it enables us to become more than we could ever be on our own.
The truth is, it is impossible to expand, to grow and evolve into what our soul longs us to be without meeting our darkness first. We do not have to do this work on our own, reach out to find the support if needed from a Therapist or from someone who understands your struggle and can offer a safe place to explore your challenges and pain.
To face the shadow of our own mind means becoming an observer of it. And facing our shadow side will be unique for everyone. Until we open and embody all of ourselves by bringing our mind, Heart and Soul into our body then nothing changes.
Our Power and Passion lies in our Vulnerability
Emotional pain…physical pain….mental anguish….in bringing our shadow stuff to the Light to be transformed, we reclaim our power. We reclaim our passion. And that is where we are at now at this point of time. If we want to stop destroying ourselves and the world, we must learn to open our Hearts and no matter how scary it is, it is in allowing ourselves to be vulnerable.
Although we may experience darkness in our lives from time to time, we can still discover the Light within our souls to rise above it, master it and learn the lessons from it.
Why the urgency to do Shadow work now?
What if the chaos or challenge we may be experiencing was for the purpose of true soul awakening to die to what we thought we were, to be re-birthed into a new being to remember who we are?
Through the challenges we are faced with, we are being called to be accountable and to take responsibility for what is happening in our lives – and on our planet. The thing about our shadow is it is unconscious, that’s why we cannot see it in ourselves because it resides in the subconscious.
And there is a beautiful hidden power in our “darkness”. If we want to stop destroying ourselves and the world we live in, we must integrate it. No more spiritual fluff, spiritual by-passing, avoiding, resisting, denying or hiding.
Having the courage to stay open in the unknown, to understand and recognise the shadow, will enable us to truly serve in an authentic way.
Carl Jung said:
“Shadow Work is the Path of the Heart Warrior“
By transmuting an experience of illness into something else, the potent gift of the Black Rose birthed through me is my soul mission to assist and guide others to truly Love them selves by providing a safe passage through darkness and shadow to the Light – these offerings could only be birthed AFTER I had gone through the process of Alchemy for myself. It is then I became the Alchemist through the transformation of my own struggles, diversity and the integration of my own Shadow.
We mustn’t attach to labels of the mind, although we are all Alchemists….where is your buried treasure?
When we find ourselves reacting to something…it is our shadow. We are not in control. How can we change that emotion into something positive? Only we can change it. Stop and become aware. Become an alchemist to change your life.
When we feel helpless, powerless and not in control, this leads to more stress for us as we not only hide and suppress how we really feel, we start to defend out actions too. When we feel discomfort and resistance, or avoid facing and addressing something that is on fire within us, this is a sure sign our shadow side is acting out.
When we find ourselves in victim mode, it is a sign our shadow has risen to conquer that pattern of victimhood.
Maybe we avoid confrontation with a friend or loved one. Other people are a mirror for our shadow too. So what we judge about them and blame for causing havoc in our lives, the judgement is also present within our selves unrecognised.
Whilst it can be very challenging to integrate our shadow, embracing it is about getting real and seeing where we kid ourselves. It means to stop the spiritual by-passing and take a real honest look at ourselves and ACCEPTING unconditionally what we find. The dirt, the shit, the ugly – as well as our positive aspects.
It is only through great effort to become self aware that we start to recognise our shadow side and how it plays out in our world because it controls a lot of what we do. When we can recognise and face our shadow we become more balanced, whole and creative.
Making the Unconscious Conscious
Although shadow work can be uncomfortable at times, there are also beautiful diamond facets of the self that begin to emerge. In bringing our shadow stuff to the Light to be transformed, we reclaim our power and stand in our truth. We find our purpose in life. And that is what is needed now…particularly from women ready to step up into their leadership roles.
When we truly heal our wounds and pain instead of hiding or glossing over them, we allow more of our Heart Light to shine. Then we are in an authentic place without our own masks and can assist and guide others through their own.
Relationships, spiritual Circles and areas of Love all provide us with a mirror to see our own shadow stuff and provide a sacred opportunity to heal – yet Circles and spirituality have a shadow side too.
It can also be safer for some of us to hide our controlling behaviour behind a mask and fool our selves into believing that we are building connections by being part of a “group”. However, unless we are willing to have the courage to open up and be vulnerable, we are just making the shadow stronger and limiting our possibilities to having true, authentic connection when we hide, avoid or run away.
The Message of the Shadow
I used to avoid and deny how I was really feeling inside by hiding my own feelings and needs. In doing so, I suppressed my shadow and allowed it to become even stronger. And when I saw how my unconscious shadow had sabotaged me in many areas of life, including preventing me having deep loving authentic relationships because of co-dependency, by bringing it all into the Light of Truth it hurt. It really hurt.
Because putting on a mask not only gives us permission to hide our true authentic self from others and ourselves, it also allows us to hide the things about ourselves we don’t like. The upcoming festival of Samhain (Halloween) offers us a wonderful opportunity to explore our shadow side and look at the masks we wear to cover our true self.
Whist there is a time for sharing our stories with others, there comes a time where we must move beyond the talking and take responsibility to change our situation with the grace of an adult and not remaining stuck in our story with the grief of a child.
Where most people become stuck is staying in the place of blame and denying the truth and resisting sitting with what is arising to be here now. It’s not about heavy processing – breathing with the sacred breath is a tool we can use to bring us to the here and now so we can voice it and release some of its toxic energy.
And how do we deal with anger or with any emotion for that matter? We sit with it. We acknowledge it. We name it. We ask questions.
This is what Shadow work is. It brings the dark, repressed parts of our selves out into the open to be acknowledged, healed and transformed.
And in committing to the inner work, it enabled me to experience the beautiful inner transformation.
As I was consumed in the Divine fires of chaos, illness and pain became the Gateway to my Truth.
I found the skeletons in my cupboard that had been put there by my upbringing, family, by society, and my dysfunctional relationships…
In my total surrender I learned to Love the unknown.
My anger and rage transformed into passion and Love in action.
My resentment that played out as passive aggressive behaviour showed me where my own needs had not been met.
In naming my shame, I found a deep compassion for myself and an inner strength.
In my perceived abandonment I found commitment to change and transform my emotional suffering into freedom.
In the “shadow” of illness, I learned deep self trust.
Eventually seeing my pain and suffering as constructs of my mind and ego, I shared my own story of shadow work in “The Importance of Healing Our Core Wounds”. I brought the parts that were hidden unconsciously by finding the places where I had developed manipulative and controlling ways of protecting myself that had kept me small and safe in order to survive and not get hurt again.
In doing the inner work of exploring my inner landscape and facing my shadow side, I also found all my energy and power that had been hidden in my fears, anger, rage, resentment, shame, guilt, anxiety, self doubt and past programming. In committing to this inner work we become more of who we are and learn how to live life more present and more fully with Love, acceptance and compassion for ourselves and for others.
I also learnt to understand why Black, darkness, shadow had been dismissed and shoved away into a box, separated, rejected, abandoned, ostracised and judged as dark or evil by many because:
Most of us have never been taught how to love and nurture the beautiful as well as the ugly “darker” aspects of our human nature
So instead of looking at our skeletons in the cupboard, our chaotic emotional struggles, reactive and extreme behaviour such as hatred, anger or resentment as something we can’t cope with or don’t want to deal with, we need to thank them. For they all hold a message, a gift and a lesson for us.
These emotions are showing us the exact problem we are facing, and in bringing the intensity of that emotion to us it provides us with the courage to face our shadow head on – if we know how to work with it.
Before the onset of illness, believing I had dealt with my stuff was destructive and brought about my own downfall – because it was through my own resistance, arrogance and inflated ego that prevented me from looking deeper into my unconscious stuff that strengthened my shadow and created havoc in my life.
Whilst I thought I had dealt with my stuff, illness and the many “losses” that went with it opened up another layer that then forced me to feel the emotions I had suppressed which was the anger, resentment and shame to name a few. It was only in the humbling realisation that all the things I understood about emotions were intellectual – it did not break through the thick armour I was wearing to my emotional stuff that I thought I had processed.
Many of us are not even aware of our emotions, because as I shared in the telling of my own story the only training that I and like many others received from birth was to suppress, ignore or avoid them.
We must all learn to Love and accept our Shadow
Our Shadow stuff includes our tendency to blame, belittle, judge, manipulate, lie to ourselves and others, and the behaviours and patterns we would rather ignore – including that affair and sexual indiscretion and the guilt and shame that may come from it. They are all projections of our un-integrated shadow and identifying and learning to Love those aspects are part of shadow work.
Unfortunately, instead of taking responsibility and accountability to own our stuff, our shadow material becomes so toxic that in order for us to release that toxicity to feel better we project it onto other people who then live out our shadows for us. Those other people then become our emotional baggage carriers (because if they are unconscious, they pick the bag up and carry it for us).
Most are content to walk an already well-trodden path and continue to react from past programming. The truth is, the majority do not want to look inside themselves either because they don’t know how, are afraid of what they might find, or there are things they don’t like about themselves so keep it hidden. Until like an erupting volcano, the shadow will not be suppressed anymore and erupts in one way or another to create havoc in our lives.
We all have a shadow self and we are being given through world or personal events the opportunity and strength to do the necessary retrieval work of our own shadow that will enable us to process and heal uncomfortable and unresolved emotions and feelings like anger, fear, sadness, hatred, rage, shame, guilt or resentment that have become the hidden shadow and projected out into the world onto others.
Our Shadow self is made up of all the parts we either refuse to look and shine a Light on, or have suppressed to feel safe in the world. It is in those dark mysterious places within which holds every thought, desire, and feeling that we have suppressed or rejected and which have a massive effect on our lives and limit our capacity to be joyful and creative.
It is only when we can truly learn to Love those secret parts of ourselves that shame or disgust us that TRUE healing happens. This is shadow work. And it’s only in the raw vulnerability, the raw honesty, and the REAL depth that is required for true Love that allows true transformation to take place.
Whether man or woman reading this, all of YOU is demanding to be liberated. It means doing the inner work and taking responsibility. And the only way to be liberated to live in true depth and authenticity is DOWN.
It’s moving down into the depths of the Heart, to the shadow, to reveal who we truly are.
Our Shadow self is what we have suppressed, and it’s time to be honest with ourselves about our own shadow aspects and how they control us through emotional outbursts and destructive behaviours. Projection, judging and blaming others is our own denial of our shadow.
Every modality I had ever been trained in, taught and practiced did not even scratch the surface to heal me – until I got to the root of the problem and the reason why.
Pain, limitation, core wounds, anger, resentment, shame, self doubt, guilt, worry, sadness, deep grief comes down to one simple truth:
An inability or unwillingness to open our Heart and unconditionally LOVE and ACCEPT those disowned parts of ourselves we have rejected. That includes both the Light and the Shadow.
Black, whether we are aware of it or not is the infinite Light. There can be no white Light without Black Light because neither can exist without the other. Manifestation of anything can only become manifest within the Void, for all that is hidden has not yet come into form.
Holy Darkness, Holy Shadow
It is not about becoming attached to emotions and going into suffering, lower frequencies, lower mind, being stuck in core wounds, navel gazing or going into doom and gloom of the mind. The Light is continually coming in to transform us, to resurrect us from the inside out.
Our job is to become self aware and notice where we are becoming triggered or going on the defensive. It is coming up for healing to transform us from the inside out and set us free from duality and limitations of the 3D world.
When we are triggered by something, we are being called to take responsibility for it – instead of projecting our unhealed and unrecognised stuff onto others as anger, blame or judgement or running away and hiding.
It may bring us temporary relief to offload our stuff onto someone who will listen to make ourselves feel better for a while, but it only brings temporary relief. What happens next time we get triggered? Until we take responsibility for our own healing, nothing changes.
How do you handle “darkness”?
If you have stayed the course and winding road this far, what emotion or feeling has come up for you in response to what you have been reading here?
Whilst I like to think that I live my life from a place of consciousness most of the time to see the truth about myself and in others, I still live a human life in the 3D world.
What that means for me is there are times when I slip into unconsciousness creating separation for myself because I don’t see the truth in the moment. I can acknowledge that and still Love myself with all my imperfections for being human.
Sometimes I have to be in that uncomfortable place and the illusion of separation for a while because there is something I need to learn or there are hidden gifts and treasures I need to find. And one thing I have learnt is this:
When I resist being in that place of darkness and perceived separation with its uncomfortable feelings, in that place of forgetfulness I don’t see the shining lamp with its beacon of Light guiding me through the darkness to the way out.
Removing masks, emotional healing and integrating Shadow is deep soul work and more will be shared in future article, including the Black Rose Essence.
In the meantime, I am opening a sacred space here. I would Love to receive your comments as to what this subject has invoked in you. There is a place waiting for you…will you take your place?
If you have the strength and courage to enter this sacred space we call the Well within the Temple of the Black Rose, please post your comments. Your Shadow self is most welcome here, held in the loving grace of the Black Rose…as are the other parts of you too.
If this post has touched you in some way, please feel free to share with your network using the link above.
In Love, Grace and Service,