As processing of the Eclipse energies continue, the alchemical changes going on with the Earth, globally, and our inner world, appear to be in upheaval. Although it may not seem like it, there is such a beautiful integration taking place this month and a deeper level of grace that is now unfolding.

In these turbulent times we are living, the healing of the Heart requires the healing of our past and we are being offered an invitation now to dive into the deep turbulent waters of our inner being for deep self healing and integration. There is a much deeper message to share here, as the chaotic energy of the New Moon in Virgo opposite Chiron, known as the Wounded Healer, is going to remind us of the most painful wounds we have experienced.

There is a necessity for healing any emotional wounds that have been arising in the past few months particularly around any Mother/Father wounds that are epidemic and immense. We also have an opportunity to integrate our past family stories that appear to be surfacing at the moment and may be keeping us stuck.

September’s New Moon will be guiding us all on a healing journey of some kind as big issues are surfacing on a personal and collective level. The Autumn Equinox on the 22nd is a time of harvesting and where the world hangs in balance and the hours of Light and darkness are equal. Adapting to changing circumstances is now paramount.

So I offer an invitation to look at the lessons for all of us to grasp – one of impermanence and one of adjustment. So Love’s message from the Black Rose this month is this:

Through impermanence and chaos…

What message and lessons is life giving you at the moment?

What stuck energy needs shifting?

For some time now in recent posts I have shared there is a karmic pattern and a collective shadow being played out that is now coming to the surface for closure and balance. Our Mother and Father wounds are the biggest karmic Wounds on our planet and our outer world  is the collective unconsciousness being reflected back to show us our own deep, unconscious stuff.

Through this Virgo New Moon we have a chance to integrate our deep wounds, those shadow aspects of ourselves we may be too scared to bring to the surface or have been suppressing.

Family dysfunction can have very deep roots. Emotionally it can be an unsettling time for balancing our masculine and feminine energy as emotionally charged subconscious energy on a personal and collective level, with feelings of past hurts that we buried, and patterns running in the back ground are rising to the surface.

With recent Solar flares and Earthquakes, Hurricanes and flooding, there is no co-incidence we are seeing so much destruction through water and fire as purging continues. Everything we see through an Eclipse cycle is the Light and Shadow. It is the Sun (masculine fire, Mind, Father) and the Moon (feminine water, Heart, Mother) energies coming together.

The thing about family dynamics is that they affect our self perception in the way we see ourselves, others, the world around us and the world at large. They can also influence our relationships, our tribal community, how we behave and even our own well-being.

They can also help us pinpoint our current needs

All challenges that we are triggered by are to lead us to the unhealed wounds we hold within.

It can be unsettling for some to see the destruction from the recent hurricanes, floods, fires and earthquake in Mexico and other parts of the world where there is so much displacement, things being stripped away and breaking down. Yet what we see reflected in the outer is to remind us of impermanence and abrupt changes that push us forward to the next level.

Many are finding wounds rising from an even deeper level and coming to the surface for integration. So I am sharing a personal experience here in that it may support all of us in freeing ourselves of limiting patterns, particularly around perfectionism, family stories we have with others, and a truth that I know only too well.

The Universe is always listening to us and that whatever shows up in any given moment and whatever our being chooses to experience whether “good or bad”….there is only Love.

Love is All there Is

This is not a story of doom and gloom. We are born into our families to evolve.

I was aware of some stuff coming up for me in August. The point is the story is not the issue. It is the sneaky, unconscious pernicious programs that continue to play in the background for all of us, and there appears to be some harsh energies surfacing with this New Moon too.

I found myself having a melt down recently and felt overwhelmed with the technical issues I was experiencing with emails, and my computer was running slow because of unwanted programs running in the back ground.

Also going on at the same time was my 92 year old mum whom I have not been able to visit for six years, and who lives nearly one hundred miles away from me and has dementia. She has recently been placed in a home by my sister after my mum broke her hip six weeks ago and is now unable to look after herself.

The Programs at the Root of the Stories

My stress and anxiety with technology was because deep down there was this feeling of frustration and helplessness because my computer was not performing well. It was an outer reflection of an expectation and non acceptance on my part of not being able to perform well and overcome the challenges my body presents me with on a daily, hourly, basis. For a while, I had forgotten who I AM.

I had forgotten how this pernicious pattern of perfectionism could still ensnare and trap me when I least expected it and create chaos. It was still running in the back ground, just like a program on a computer, slowing me down.

Whilst we are in the process of healing and balancing the Sacred Masculine and Divine Feminine aspects within ourselves, the deepest of taboos and the deepest of wounds that play out on a personal, collective and cosmic level are the wounds of the Mother and Father.

Mother/Father Wounds

We all look for a sense of belonging and connection and we all want to be listened to, to be nurtured, to be heard and accepted. Yet there is a huge lack of awareness of deep, complex emotional issues that underpin a lot of family relationships and family of origin and mine has been no exception.

Having shared the healing journey of my own Mother/Father wounds in a previous blog in 2013 and about not feeling seen, heard, understood or accepted for who I am, I speak here now of physical and emotional estrangement – another hidden, minimised, pernicious pattern that is not uncommon and needs to be addressed without embarrassment, stigma, judgement, shame or blame attached to it.

Estrangement is the breakdown of a supportive relationship between family members, or of no longer being part of a social group. Families can become estranged for many reasons and from many causes. It does not always mean a family fight where no-one speaks to one another again, it can happen from “not being close” or “distancing” of some kind.  It includes differing values and beliefs, poor communication and awareness, being ostracised or abused, a lack of empathy and more.

It affects mothers, fathers, sons, daughters and siblings and the grief from estrangement or feeling estranged can be one of the most painful events in our lives. The experience of it can see a decline in our physical and mental health too.

What is rarely spoken about is the feeling of isolation, the lack of family network and being cut off, as well as a sense of what is missing and the experience of the living loss itself. Where there is sadness in life there is unresolved grief from the past.

Estrangement triggers the Grief response

We may hold expectations of family life yet blame, judgement, dismissal, minimising of feelings and avoidance, lack of empathy including a lack of understanding and experience run rife in society as a whole and within the family of origin too.

There are many triggers for estrangement, including separation from partners, divorce, domestic violence, substance abuse, mental illness, homelessness, suicide, Betrayal, Rejection, and for the elderly there is the increased pain and stress of non supportive or absence of family members towards the end of life.

I see this wound play out in many. I see it because I have had to face the source of my pain and heal my own wounds and unrecognised, unprocessed grief around family. We all have needs, the need to belong, a need to maintain high self esteem, and a need to have a meaningful existence in life.

Without these basic needs a person who has experienced rejection and estranged can suffer the consequences of loneliness, depression, low self esteem and aggressive behaviour. Until we can acknowledge and accept what happened without blame, the grief process is unresolved and incomplete.

We see estrangement play out both in family relationships and the relationship if we have one with Mother/Father God/Source/All That Is when we are cut off from our Divinity.

If a broken Heart is your deepest wound that is in need of healing, this New Moon will illuminate those places that require it. I have named my deepest Heart wound of the Mother, Father and family of origin because like all wounds, until we acknowledge them, feel the feelings and heal them they get projected out into the collective or onto the next generation.

There is no forgiveness for there is nothing to forgive. I am not a victim for there is nothing or no-one to blame. I can thank my dad for being my dad and can thank my mum for being my mum because she gave me life.

In giving me life, my mum and my family enabled me to learn my lessons, fulfill my life purpose, and live a life of service. When we each take responsibility for our own part in learning and healing from our family of origin we affect the whole in a POSITIVE way.

The most empowering and powerful steps we can take on any healing journey is to Love ourselves and the life we have regardless of the past and what ever our circumstances may be. In truth there is no separation for we are all One.

It’s not what happens to us in our family of origin but what we DO with it that determines whether we are strengthened by it to evolve or whether it takes us into victim consciousness. Many of us have had to learn to turn towards the inner Mother for our needs and nurturing and our Divine sisters of Surrender, Acceptance and Grace. So….

Lets now all of us focus on the healing….

Please feel free to share the link on this page with your friends and network, or post a comment below. I would love to hear from you if you have a story to tell and share and how you coped, or maybe you just want to let your grief speak, to be seen and heard and witnessed.

In Love, Grace and Service,