February is traditionally the month of Valentine’s Day when we turn to Love and romantic things. But can we truly say we Love ourselves?

I have been reflecting the past few months as I had felt rather flat which had nothing to do with the New Year blues. During a conversation with someone I had some weeks ago, I was shown an image of a flatfish with coloured spots on its body, burying itself in the sand.

That flatfish got me thinking. How many of us are burying our heads in the sand, not wanting to face the challenges ahead of us or clearing up and purging our programming that block us from receiving abundance and living our purpose? I will shine a light on an insidious archetype that is in plain sight and offer the deeper questions to transform it.

So Love’s message this month is this:

If it’s all about Love….

What is your purpose?

Are you truly living it?

There are so many kinds of love. Some of us may not have known what Love is until we learnt what Love is not. There is true Love and there is tough Love. In relationship there are five different languages of Love in how we want to give and receive it.

Have you the courage to share your love every day even if it is through tough Love to encourage someone to take responsibility for their actions or non actions of behaviour that is keeping them stuck?

Are you truly living your purpose or playing at it? Does what you do take you closer to spirit or further away? Do you feel energised with your connections or what you do each day or do you feel lethargic or depleted?

It’s all very well loving and serving others, but are we truly loving and serving ourselves?

When the Flatfish Surrendered….

If we embark on a journey within at February’s Full Moon not only does it offer us an invitation to release what is not serving us, with Mercury’s influence it also offers us an opportunity to look at how we communicate seen and unseen and express what we feel or think.

I own up to being a flatfish. Over the past few months I had a deep need to balance what appeared out of balance so I had to take stock of what I am doing and why I am doing it. It was time to enter the darkness to remember what I am here for – and what I am not.

Light Messenger was created back in 2012 after I had to give up my business. I was shown my purpose was to be a Messenger of light to share my knowledge and wisdom that was gifted me through the illness itself but in a very different way.

My purpose since 2012 has been to gather the Roses, to hold space for others to be seen and heard, to share my own inner journey as a road map to bring awareness to their core wounds, conditioning and patterns of behaviour in Circle, through the monthly Love Letters and now in our Temple space with the Black Rose.

Yet all too often I am reminded what my purpose is not…

Living with complex medical conditions my limited energy and life span is precious. Very precious.

Co-dependency, enabling, entrapment, entitlement issues, financial suicide, limiting beliefs, victimhood, lack of money, self worth, self respect, self esteem, self love are just some of the patterns we all have to work through at some point in our lives.

In a time of the financial and cost of living crisis with a lack of money and lack of security, I want to bring awareness to the Prostitute Archetype that may be playing out for those who want to do the work to transform it. This archetype has nothing to do with sex.

Where are you trading your power?

What are the payoffs?

What are you bartering with for “security?”

This archetype has its roots in self respect and worthiness and until we find this pattern and deal with it we will continue to act unconsciously to feel secure.

In 2002 I found where the prostitute archetype was active in my own life and I was horrified and felt sick when I saw I was compromising my integrity to get something in return. I was trading self respect and worthiness for what I perceived as security.

At that time in my life I questioned what I was doing in a job I hated and felt put upon and undervalued. Why was I in an unfulfilling relationship putting up with bad behaviour? What were the payoffs in each?

Well, it was a secure job that paid the bills with a pension at the end of it. It was close to home. Moving in and living with someone enabled me to share the bills, create a nice home and garden and add value to the others property. Later in life I realised it was a relationship of convenience.

I was reminded that I could lose my job through accident or illness (no money), I could lose my relationship and roof over my head of a home I loved if he died (homelessness). It was the realisation that there is no such thing as security as it could be lost at anytime. When I realised this it triggered my fears around survival. I had to look at my control issues.

To heal this pattern within me I had to acknowledge and accept all the parts within me and situations I found myself in throughout my life where I was compromising and had been compromising my integrity for something in return. Then I had to do something to heal my fears around survival. I left my partner and returned to my own home. We remained friends.

At the time, I did nothing to change my work environment and it remained on the back burner. Until a celestial clock started ticking and my world as I knew it blew apart and I could no longer work. I learnt that having a job, money, a roof over our heads, a relationship and perfect health can be taken away from us in the blink of an eye. Security is just an illusion.

The unacknowledged Archetype

Is a financial crisis revealing an active prostitute archetype playing out within yourself?

Are you giving your power away as a trade off for security?

Are you putting up with someone’s behaviour because they pay the rent for you or keep a roof over your head and you don’t want to rock the boat?

Are you staying in a relationship that is making you ill or past its sell by date because it is all about the money? (or lack of. How will I survive?).

Are you willing to acknowledge and accept this archetype could be compromising your own self respect, self worth and integrity?

What are you selling of yourself for that security? Truth? Honesty? Integrity? Transparency? Accountability?

If the answer is yes to any of the above questions, what are you going to do about it?

My Purpose – and what it is not

My purpose is to create safe spaces for community and connection, and offer guidance to those looking for support or sanctuary to transform wounds of the Heart, offering the deeper questions for self inquiry, providing an opportunity for conversation and to explore and become more self aware of who they are.

My purpose is in service, not only to others but to self too. Over the years I have provided and shared many tools and techniques to overcome limiting beliefs, heal core wounds and transform patterns of behaviour. I continue to do that freely through these Love Letters. However, it is not my purpose to do for others that which they can do for themselves.

My purpose is not about giving my time and energy to those who do not want to listen to the wise words and counsel I have been gifted with through life lived experiences and years of training as a Holistic Practitioner, Teacher and Therapist in alternative therapies.

It is not my purpose to give my time and energy to those who want to spiritually bypass, remain a victim or do not want to look at their patterns and programming and not do something to change them.

It is not my purpose to mollycoddle, save anyone or give my time and energy to those who do not want to change. My purpose is to bring awareness and “tough Love” when appropriate and needed. The rest is up to them.

My purpose is not to “save the world”. There is my business, your business (which is none of mine) and “God’s” business. My purpose is to stay in my own lane.

There are challenges going on for me at the moment that even I want to run away from.

Yet I am reminded that facing the life threatening complications I live with, I can still have purpose with whatever time I have left as a shadow walker on this earthy plane.

My continuing purpose for being here is to finally write a book as a legacy of the Black Rose – a work in progress!

The Snow Moon

Are you willing to take on the symbolic meaning of a flatfish at this Full Moon and face what you are avoiding or have been burying your head in the sand?

Are you willing to acknowledge and accept there may be a prostitute archetype within you waiting to be transformed?

Are you willing to have that conversation or express what you feel and think regardless of the repercussions?

When we are in alignment with our values and in truth, honesty, integrity, transparency and accountability, these are my values and the values of the Black Rose, (they may not be your values) the prostitute archetype is transformed when we finally face our fear of survival.

We may have been taught that our needs will be met. In the current climate money worries are real for many people. Take control of what you can and seek help if you need to. What I have shared here is to bring awareness to an archetype and how I transformed it within myself when losing my job, lack of money and fear of survival reared its head.

While it remains unconscious it cannot be transformed so we give our power away to others which blocks us from moving forward. Yet when acknowledged, embraced and worked through with love and respect for self, we learn to set boundaries and claim our personal power we had given away to others as a trade off for security of some kind.

Please feel free to post a comment or join the conversation.

Created with Love, Grace and in Service,

May the Love Letters Inspire, Comfort and Support you in times of need.